If you’re still waiting for someone to come and change your life, look in the mirror.

No one can do it for you, but yourself.

 

Our Inner Animal

You see, we are animals. Animals handle stress in their world depending on their animality: Proactive and Reactive.

Reactive mode of operation allows the external world to become your reality, making you a victim of your world, environment, workplace, home, and essentially your own mind. You are always acting based on the outside stimuli.

Proactive mode of operation allows your internal world, your mind, thoughts and intuition to lead your life, creating your own reality, regardless of the external world.

Proactive animals remove negative stimuli from their environment.

For example, if a tiny electric prod that yields a shock when touched is placed in a mouse’s cage, a proactive mouse will bury the prod, while a reactive mouse will stay away from it. If an intruder mouse enters a proactive one’s cage, the owner mouse responds quickly and aggressively, attacking the intruder and standing its ground until it hides under any cover available. A reactive mouse will mostly just try to hide from intruders.

 

The Conscious Mind

As humans, we are fortunate.

Unlike animals, our mind has the ability to reconstruct itself and create whatever it is that you tell it to create, through thoughts, actions and repetition.

Best of all, you are in the driver’s seat.

The reason why change may be difficult is because your old habits and conditioning are still present, and the lack of faith in your ability to create a new set of habits and beliefs.

The “secret” universal law of attraction states that we attract what we are. Therefore, whatever your mind repeatedly thinks about and acts on, that’s what it will attract.

Undoubtedly, where you are right now is where you wanted to be, consciously or unconsciously.

Like the tip of the iceberg, that which is seen above the water is your conscious mind. Your conscious thoughts make up only the tip of the iceberg.

Unseen, the foundation of the iceberg underneath the water is your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is your ‘auto-pilot’ which drives you to work every morning, skips the gym to binge watch Netflix shows every night and chooses to eat chips and popcorn on the weekend.

Unless you consciously decide to change your actions, thoughts and behavior, your current ‘auto-pilot’ will dictate your life’s direction as it has thus far.

Identifying yourself with your current ‘auto-pilot’ does not have to be definite. Ultimately you have the power to change your habits and reprogram your subconscious mind, creating whatever life you desire. The catch is, you must be willing to consciously work for it.

If you want to attract something different, you must become something different.

No one will nor is able to change your world, but yourself.

You create your own reality. In fact our minds are always creating. Try relaxing and think about nothing for 5 minutes. Your mind wanders off, doesn’t it? Eben Pegan calls this ‘being lived’.

In order to create your own reality, you must take control of the wheel (consciously becoming aware of your thoughts, actions and behavior) and direct it towards the destination of your choice.

If you don’t, unconsciously you are allowing the external world to dictate and own your world. Proactive, reactive – remember?

Here’s a practical example.

You wanted to lose 20 lbs. That was 3 years ago. Every new year you said: “That’s it, starting on Monday, I’m going to go to the gym, work out 6 days a week, eat kale and brussels sprouts because “new year, new me.” ” It’s been 3 years and now you have to lose 45 lbs. It’s becoming increasingly difficult and you’ve pretty much given up on yourself.

You may think “You know what? Maybe the fit life is just not in the books for me.”

Well, what happened is that when you told yourself you will start working out and make better food choices, but did not go through with it, you’ve told your subconscious mind that you cannot accomplish it.

Each year that you repeat this cycle you reinforce that belief, solidifying it further and further.

The reality is that the fit life is most definitely for you. You just have to become the kind of person that makes fat loss a priority and shed those unwanted 45 lb off.

 

Focus All Your Energy on the New You 

If you want to create successful change, you must dismiss your past experiences, your past “failures” and struggles and focus on creating new ones.

Day by day, focus all your energy on applying new thought patterns that serve you, taking positive actions that serve you and keep repeating it until your subconscious mind makes it your default state.

One mistake that most individuals make that keeps them in this ugly negative loop is fighting their old conditioning by analyzing it, thinking about it or even worse – identifying themselves with it.

Dismiss the old and focus all your energy on creating the new you.

Envision yourself being fit and looking great on the beach, feeling comfortable and confident in your skin, eating your favorite foods without worries and having plenty of energy to do all the things that you want to do.

It’s important to note that when you decide to change and commit to this journey of reprogramming your subconscious mind, your old conditioning will still interfere.

Be aware that it is simply your past conditioning.

Dismiss it and remain committed to thinking thoughts that serve you, taking positive action and repeating it daily.

Eventually the new conditioning will take its place and you will become the new you.

 

Final Words

All change starts with you.

Regardless of circumstances and outside world, you must take responsibility for your own life. Everything you need is already inside you.

Like a good friend of mine said: “If you try to change the world, it will change you. If you change yourself, the world will change for you.”

Do you feel like there’s a personal barrier stopping you from achieving your goals? Have you found yourself achieve a little success only to revert back to your old self? Have you tried countless diets, fad workout techniques and are still in the same spot? I think we’ve all been there at one point or another in our lives which inspired me to write this article summarizing a concept i learned from Jim Fortin called ‘Be – Do – Have’. The goal is to dive a little deeper and shed some light on why willpower alone is not enough to accomplish and more importantly sustain your goals.

Key points:

• Willpower is a finite resource. It can get you up and running, but it is not enough to achieve and keep your results.
• For long-lasting change your identity must change as well.
• Work from Be-Do-Have rather than Have-Do-Be.
• Repetition is the key to change
• Mindset and self-awareness dictates your success

 

Willpower alone is a finite resource

How often do you see or hear of people who try to use willpower aka self control for a few days maybe a week only to eventually give in and go back to their regular self?

Willpower can be great to get you started but relying solely on it will not provide lasting and sustainable results.

Why is that?

Many people focus and work from this equation: Have – Do – Be. Well if i HAD more time, i would go to the gym and i would be fit. Well if only i HAD more money, i would invest in myself more and i would be happier. If i HAD more this, i would do more of that and i would be X.

This equation is backwards.

The equation we must work from is Be – Do – Have. What kind of person do i need to be, so i can effectively do, so i can have the things that i want?

It all comes down to our identity and our identity is all sub-conscious.

If you want to know your REAL identity look at your life and all the things and people around you and that is your current identity.

To create lasting and sustainable change, willpower can most definitely get you started but a change in identity must also take place to create sustainability.

All too often people who win the lottery – millions of dollars – end up losing all the money in a few years and become broke again. How’s that possible? Because at the identity(subconscious) level they are still poor.

People who lose weight by following a ‘diet’ – through self-control and willpower alone  – most often revert back to their old self. Their inner self image still believes they are overweight so it eventually becomes a reality again.

The way of being that got you in your current situation will not be the same being that will get you out and keep you out of it.

Use willpower as a definite kick-starter along with sub-conscious reinforcements of becoming the person that has the things that you want.

 

How would the person that I want to be feel, think, act ?

Examples of ways of being: committed, self-integral, responsible, driven, self-disciplined, persistent.

When people want to lose weight, they think i need to start DOING cardio, workouts; i need to cut out sugar (DO), i need to do this and that so i can lose weight. Yes that is true, however if they are not being committed, it never works out. If self-integrity is not their way of being, it will fail in the end.

We must BE in order to effectively DO so we can HAVE the things that we want to have.

Your doing is only as effective as your being doing the doing.

 

Overcoming old brain-patterns

Your way of being has created habits that your brain acts upon on auto-pilot.

95% of decisions that we make on a daily basis is done by the subconscious mind, followed by a conscious justification for it. “I’ll only eat a little piece of cake. It’s in the fridge anyway plus i don’t like to throw out food. I won’t buy it anymore from now on.” This reinforces the brain to be uncommitted and perhaps lose self-integrity. The more this process is being repeated, the more this way of being is solidifying as one’s identity and brain patterns.

In order to create long-lasting change the focus must be set on changing our identity – who we are being, through repetition.

Being committed to your goals and repeating this state of being over and over will eventually create a new identity. Committed will become your new way of being and things will start happening to you effortlessly because you are simply being who you are, subconsciously.

The difficult part is making that transformation. Facing the ‘dark demons’ that lure us back in when we try to change.

 

Repetition is your friend

Key to overcoming the hardships of change is repetition.

Repeating the way of being that the person you want to be is – committed, self-integral, responsible, persistent, positive, strong-minded, hard working – will eventually become who you are, at an identity level.  

Constantly ask yourself ‘How would the person i want to be act, feel, think, be?’ and  ‘Am I being that right now?’

If your goal is to finally lose those 25 lbs and keep it off for good, a decision must take place.

Ask yourself “How would the lighter, healthier me act, feel, think, be?” Would she make excuses/procrastinate on her goals or take action and see it as an opportunity to become better?” “What kind of habits would the fitter, healthier me have?” Write down the answers that you get from these questions start being them.

Work from a place of Be-Do-Have rather than Have-Do-Be.

Note* Action (the doing) is always the prerequisite of accomplishing a goal, however the distinction that separates success and sustainability from its counterpart is where the doing stems from. Does it stem from a being that is committed, self-integral, responsible, decisive, etc. or not?

 

Things to do that can accelerate your success:

• Join or have a support or mastermind group that is working towards similar goals. The combined energy and atmosphere will lift up yours and keep you going strong.
• Hire a knowledgeable coach that will guide you and keep you accountable along the way.
• Show interest and learn as much as you can about that given subject. Constantly exposing your mind to it in a positive manner will have a positive impact on your success.